Lately, I have had the feeling that I am running out of time.
At least, that’s the story I have been telling myself.
Joseph Campbell’s words “Eternity doesn’t start when you die. You’re in it now” remind me that I am always in the eternal now. Time is the unending unraveling of the universe and the constant movement of energies. Time is the coming together of energies and the eventual dissolution of those energies.
I am mindful of the fact that the cohesion of the molecules I call my physical body can end at any time. And I often feel as if I am wasting this opportunity because I am imagining that I am not doing all of the things I should be doing. I feel as if I am very far behind in becoming all of the presence that I should be.
Yesterday, I wrote about listening to the story within me. Today, I am mindful of where the story may be coming from. And, I need to be aware that part of my lesson in this existence is learning about bringing my true presence to life. To do this, I need to face the stories within me and find out if they are true or if they are just something someone told me about myself a long time ago.
Don Miguel Ruiz begins book, The Four Agreements, talking about the presence of story within all of us and how we design our lives to make those stories become our lives. We live out the stories other people have told us about ourselves. We live life because someone told us “this is how life is” and we believed that person and continue to recreate that reality over and over again.
Ruiz goes on to discuss how powerful our words are and the stories they create. Words create lives. Words destroy lives. Today, I will be mindful of how my stories are creating or destroying my life.
©2010 by Barbara L. Kass
Eternal Presence 
April 12, 2010 at 8:44 am |
Barbara – Your post is very timely for me today as I once again, feel like the hands on the clock are just whipping around — speeding out of control! You must have read my mind and known exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you.
Laurie Buchanan
http://holessence.wordpress.com/
April 12, 2010 at 9:12 pm |
Hi, Laurie — my guess is that you are getting ready for your writing workshop, yes? And then once you are there, time will fly on the wings of angels, but you will be so immersed in it, you won’t mind!
April 12, 2010 at 6:32 pm |
Great, my first draft got deleted, so I will start again…LOL
Well this is very timely for me! I started reading the Book today, thanks to download on Kindle…
All those messages that were told to me all those years, and even now.
You have to be busy, be successful, go to school, get married….the list goes on.
However I received opposite messages that clearly formed the story..Here are some of them:
You are not good enough
you are a female
Grades are not important
You are not creatiive
School is a waste of time
Beatings for no specific reason..Making me to think I was not good enough for anyone or anything…
Brothers who paid no attention
Father paid no attention
Brother tried to committ suicide
Mother fought hanging on to the family and depression
Brother alcoholic
Brother drugs
Aunt tried to committ suicide
and the list goes on and the story goes on with lots of smoke…..
Needless to say there were not a lot of words creating my life, more were slowly and painfully destroying the fabric of who I was and now form who I am…..do I know who that is…..Stay tuned.
Kim
April 12, 2010 at 9:15 pm |
Kim, the story is in the words that your family told themselves about their lives and each other. What you describe could also be so ingrained in them as to be “wordless” so action was the only language they had to speak of their misery. The important thing here is that it does not have to be your story. I am staying tuned . . .
April 13, 2010 at 9:21 pm |
This is the first chance I’ve had to sit down and read your story. Yesterday there wasn’t time, or I was just too tired to do it. I know that sounds rude, but its very truthful. I wonder why I burn up so much of my time for the sake of some one else, silly ME! I want to pay my bills and have a little left over! I know you, Laurie and I have had this discussion many times before, but just think, we are already into the 2nd quarter of the year! Where does the time go!?! Yes, stupid question, under the bridge and out to sea, never to be heard from again. Keep writing those stories, I will be wanting to read them one day.
April 13, 2010 at 9:36 pm |
Barbara – I’m sooooo with Sandi on this. WHERE does the time go?! Tomorrow I keynote speak; Sunday teach at Infinity Foundation; next week U of W-Madison for the Writer’s Institute; … my head (and my stomach) are spinning! I will NEVER do this to myself again (she says fully meaning it, yet …)
Your condo closes in 15 days (and counting DOWN) …
April 13, 2010 at 10:08 pm |
Hi, Sandi! Hi, Laurie! I know . . . we are moving faster and faster. I remember writing something about this on your old Gaia blog, Laurie, about how our molecules are moving quicker to see the energy that is moving faster than us that we cannot see at our slow human speed. I know that you are both so tremendously busy and just a little bit over-committed. I will be so glad to offload that condo. It has taken up nearly all of my free time since I got that odd idea to sell it.