We walk through ourselves, meeting robbers, ghosts, giants, old men, young men, wives, widows, brothers-in-love. But always meeting ourselves. James Joyce
Self-exploration and discovery invite all sorts of people into my life. The experience is whatever I choose to label it: good, bad, frustrating, enlightening, exhilarating, boring, stimulating . . . any adjective I want. Encounters inside and outside myself always reveal and reflect who I am.
In my imagination, as I become more and more my eternal presence in my day-to-day living, other people become easier to get along with and my response to those who are a little contrary is one of benevolence and wisdom.
That is my imaginary life in the land of Supposed-To-Be.
My lesson recently has been to learn how to merge my eternal presence in all my interactions while I am clearly so very human in my responses. While playing tennis yesterday, I felt the warrior that I am bring her best to the game. I know it is a game and there is nothing really to win. Tennis is a strategy of skill, endurance, and presence. One cannot be thinking of what to make for dinner or the argument she had earlier in the day and play well. I wanted to win (and we did), but most of all, my warrior pride wanted to play her best.
In another encounter, I responded harshly to a person who intruded on my life uninvited and in a threatening manner – a very human reaction. I tried to reason with the person first, but that person insisted on being abusive, and the warrior in me said “Let’s get rid of you.”
Would someone who was truly enlightened and living as her eternal presence even worry about being threatened? Maybe. Maybe not. My human programming endures regardless and will rise to defend me and those I love with a coldly unemotional attitude.
Perhaps this is my task in this existence, my reason for being, is to learn to be myself totally and continuously connected to my eternal presence in the discomfort of a world that makes no sense to me.
©2010 by Barbara L. Kass
Tags: discovery, presence, self-exploration
Eternal Presence 
April 25, 2010 at 5:56 pm |
Wonderful introspection….
The warrier will be let out, even in an abusive scenario.
Even if it goes on for 22 years?…my food for thought today.
The human responses were just what they were, human– introspection, fear, anger, confusion, separation,abandonment, aloneness, in addition to many more that were held well inside for a long long time.
I concede to those responses and will live my life in the present, knowing that I am more than this, and it was not my doing.
Kim
April 26, 2010 at 5:28 am |
Hi, Kim — for me, the warrior is a presence who is protective, not abusive. The warrior might kill to protect or to eat, but not to purposefully cause harm just for the sake of causing harm. Abuse is a whole other issue. It stems from insecurity and suffering. A warrior might put up with abuse in the face of few alternatives but my vision of the warrior is that he or she will leave abusive circumstances when given the option.
April 27, 2010 at 3:18 pm |
Kim–Thanks for your post. I had a link from a hategroup today to my blog and needed to consider the topic you are covering here since it scares me to think of being silenced while also wanting to be careful about how one may be perceived in a sometimes dangerous world.
April 27, 2010 at 4:38 pm |
Oops- I meant to address the author of the blog. Sorry.
April 27, 2010 at 9:39 pm |
You have a poetry blog (very interesting) — I don’t understand why a hategroup would target you. When I am the target of someone’s misplaced aggression, I retreat back to my eternal presence for guidance; silence is often an excellent “weapon” because it can reduce the ammunition available to other people as they squander their time and energy in this existence. You can’t worry about how you are perceived by anyone; just be who you are – not the personality you believe yourself to be – but the energy who came to this earth to create.