the presence of free will

On my internal quest to reconcile the God of my childhood with the reality of who I am, I struggle with the all-encompassing definitions of God.

In the July 2010 issue of Science of Mind, the 22nd daily guide, the quotes and text define God as humans being God. A quote from Emma Curtis Hopkins says “No word can express your understanding of God. You are It.” I can interpret this two ways. First, “It” is me. In other words, I am God. A second interpretation is that I am my understanding of God. My question is: If this is true, is it true for all humans? Even the ones who commit atrocities against the earth and their fellow creatures? Are they God, too? Or, are they expressing their understanding of God? Our entire history up to the present moment is full of examples of people behaving stupidly, disregarding other’s beliefs, disrespecting boundaries, and preying upon the weak and helpless to express their God or their understanding of God.

A second quote says “The only God man knows is the God of his own Inner Life; he can know no other.” This quote indicates that God is a manifestation of our own creation. You are reading this and you know what God means to you. What you might be thinking is that I don’t know what God means to me. I suggest that you suspend that thought for a moment and consider that I am God struggling to define my presence and define myself through this human being everyone calls Barbara.

As a human, I have my human conditioning, limits, beliefs, and free will. I choose whether or not I believe in the existence of God. I choose whether or not to become more conscious and aware. I even choose how God is expressed through me. In spite of my belief that we are all God (the One, Spirit, Divine), I don’t believe that I am a marionette dancing to the pull of strings upon my body and soul. When I am in touch with my own eternal spirit, my true presence who ventured into human existence, the touch of God is inherent in my being. In those moments, God is no longer struggling to define his/her/my/itself. And it is not because I discovered who God is or how God behaves. It is because eternity’s wisdom becomes one with my human existence and my feelings, thoughts, choices, and actions come from the all-knowing, the all-understanding. This knowledge and understanding are not whirls of timeless memories of all that has ever existed. Rather, they are intentions and ways of being that I have evolved in my eternal presence.

Because I came from God, because I exist within God even with my free will, all that I express is God. The only decision I need to make from moment to moment is how I want the God who is me to live and be seen.

©2010 by Barbara L. Kass

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12 Responses to “the presence of free will”

  1. holessence Says:

    Boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy did I enjoy reading this post, Barbara.

    I, too, believe that each one of us is Divine Love expressing itself as an individual; that we’re all different facets of one being.

    • Barbara Kass Says:

      Hi, Laurie — my intellect wants to know how it is all put together and understand while my eternal presence yawns at the notion. I just feel that I need to come to some sort of peace and knowing within myself to really embrace our Oneness and walk the talk (or, in my case, walk what I write).

  2. ButterfliesGalore-Kimberly Grady Says:

    Great post Barbara. You portray stuggles that perhaps othedrs have invarious degrees. I as well do have struggles with certain beliefs in different churches. It would seem that some were formed as man’s idea of how to get others to believe in a certain thing as to keep peace, order, and law. I think of some pof the old testament laws as examples. Men being allowed to worship only, or women only serving in the home, nowhere else. I really do not believe that entirely was God’s intention when he said helpmate, not property.

    You have caused me as well to search more…..;-)

    Here are a few things I was contemplating:

    God does not force us to believe in him, though he could. Instead, he has provided sufficient proof of his existence for us to willingly respond to him. The earth’s perfect distance from the sun, the unique chemical properties of water, the human brain, DNA, the number of people who attest to knowing God, the gnawing in our hearts and minds to determine if God is there, the willingness for God to be known through Jesus Christ and us.

    This is your decision, no coercion here. But if you want to be forgiven by God and come into a relationship with him, you can do so right now by asking him to forgive you and come into your life. Jesus said, “Behold, I stand at the door [of your heart] and knock. He who hears my voice and opens the door, I will come into him [or her].”19 If you want to do this, but aren’t sure how to put it into words, this may help: “Jesus, thank you for dying for my sins. You know my life and that I need to be forgiven. I ask you to forgive me right now and come into my life. I want to know you in a real way. Come into my life now. Thank you that you wanted a relationship with me. Amen.”

    • Barbara Kass Says:

      Hi, Kim — thanks for the suggestion but I do not believe in Jesus the same way that you do. Nor do I feel that I need to be forgiven for anything! By God or anyone else.

  3. sandiwhite Says:

    Barbara, I have to come to believe in the “God of my own understanding”, the Higher Power that is constant and immutable. The Universe without beginning or end. I am part of the Universe and so I am part of God. I can never unravel the Holy Mysteries of that Being, only rejoice that I am aware of that Power and glad to be connected to Him.

  4. sandiwhite Says:

    By the way, I meant to say that this is a remarkable post, showing your own understanding of your own Presence in the Presence of the Universe. Beautifully expressed.

    • Barbara Kass Says:

      Sandi — I envy (just a little) your acceptance and peace with your knowing of God. I am seeking that peace myself and I know I won’t find it in a church or a book or another person. I can only find it in myself. I know that people, books, and encounters with the mystery will all be a part of my finding my peace and acceptance.

  5. jeffstroud Says:


    Brave and powerful blog! I was going to post to your blog before this one yet for some reason Higher thoughts have not wished to stay within my mind.

    As I a child I believed I had a relationship with God or so force. As a teenager I moved a way from that relationship, later my life became a pursuit of life’s Pleasures and God had no place in my thought process. Upon going into recovery, the doors where there for me to open once again, if I choose too. The phrase in 12 Step Program “God as I understand him” offers a new light that had never been shown before. So my pursuit was on, I became an seeker of God as I understood him from the first days in 12 Step Program !
    The Highlight of that Journey was the discovery of Conversations with God Book 1, I was 5 years sober, and this little book offer the voice, the language, the encouragement, the strength, the guidance, and the Love I was missing everywhere else.
    Of course my search did not end there, because as you say God is not in Church or a book or another person, yet those are the avenues to re-awaken who you really are God in Person through the daily events of our lives.

    I started out saying you are brave and powerful because it take powerful courage to walk the way of the spiritual warrior! God/Goddess/Spirit/Source is in each and everyone of us. Being that is the purpose for our human experience for God to experience God!

    I am Love, Jeff

    • Barbara Kass Says:

      Hi, Jeff — I am always so glad when you respond to one of my posts because you always leave a little gift. Today, I find the term “spiritual warrior” and zing! A new/old avenue for me to explore. I have not read the Conversations with God books yet — I have been living them vicariously by reading what you write about them. But because the books have surfaced, perhaps the Universal Consciousness is kind of waving a “look over here!” flag. You used the term “through the daily evens of our lives” and I was just thinking yesterday how easy it is to write and make sense of life in writing and offer all sorts of wisdom, but it is more difficult and requires strong presence to live them all day long (walking the talk). Thanks, Jeff.

  6. jeffstroud Says:


    I am joyful that I have been able to honor you with a gift this morning. The gift for me was to get out of my own way and let spirit write the response.

    It is not an easy task to walk the talk yet talking the talk is the first part of the enlightenment. Because we have to get it out of our thoughts, into words, and the words hopefully guide us to action.
    The path to living fully present is a life long discovery!

    I am Love, Jeff

  7. Isaac Hammitt Says:

    Hi you have a fine website It was very easy to post fantastic

  8. Barbara Kass Says:

    Thank you, Isaac. I don’t post here often these days, but I still occasionally find something of value to say.

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