Observing presence

There are three of me.

One is the persona I wear for external exhibition. This is the one who has a tendency to act impulsively and to demonstrate emotional outbursts. She is also the one who guards and protects, reacting from an instinct as ancient as the stars.

One is the director of that persona. My external persona checks in often with the director, asking questions like “Is this an appropriate time for an expletive?” The director runs instantaneous, faster-than-light assessments that take into account all possible responses and all possible (as well as a few impossible) consequences of those responses. The director judges and determines right and wrong, good and bad, and what is worthy and a waste of my time. And my external persona complies with those directions . . . usually.

The third persona watches them both. It is the presence that I claim as eternal – the one who simultaneously has the wisdom of heaven and all the innocence of a child. This presence does not worry about outcomes, time, the past, or the future for it exists in the eternal present. This presence knows it will always exist.

Some would call it a higher self. This is the part of me that stands back and observes. While I might name this presence feminine, my experience is that being is genderless. This self observes me in all my witless gyrations and struggles to make it through life intact. All that am learning and becoming manifests within this eternal presence. Who I become in this life is who I will carry with me into the next existence. It does not matter who I used to be. What matters is who I am right now.

Sometimes I become four of me.

Occasionally, I become a presence that is a full integration of these three selves . . . a whole being who is completely present and fearless. For an instant, I am tremendously aware that I am this peaceful, tranquil being on the forever journey of becoming. In the next instant, I fragment again into my individual personas and watch myself remember who I truly am.

©2011 Barbara L. Kass


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8 Responses to “Observing presence”

  1. holessence Says:

    “What matters is who I am right now.”

    Barbara, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your three separate descriptions and their responsibilities.

    And I can relate to those occasional flash-in-the-pan instances of being three in one (not nearly often enough), before it’s back to the rigors of remembering who I truly am.

    Great thoughts to seed a wonderful rainy day here in Crystal Lake, Illinois.

    • Barbara Kass Says:

      Hi, Laurie — we had some massive rainfall here in Maryland, too. Interesting thing about those times when I am fully and totally a complete and total being — I still have to chop wood and carry water!

  2. jeffstroud Says:


    It is good to be aware of all those presence. For there is a saying that we are Multifaceted jewel and when the light shines it reflects through all the facets making a rainbow of color.

    Conversations with God/Neale Donald Walsch says “you are a tri-part being, made of body, mind, and spirit. You will always be a tri-part being, not just while you are living on the Earth”.

    The awareness, of our persona’s to allow us to know where we have been, and where we are going and when we are off balance. Otherwise we are just rolling along on the path like a train on the track…. headed who knows where.

    • Barbara Kass Says:

      It’s the head-on collision I am trying to avoid on that train track, Jeff. Interesting about the tri-part being. I don’t know if other creatures have the capacity to observe themselves or have an inner conversation between the parts. I can remember arguing with myself when I was as young as five years old, making clear decisions about my existence even though I did not understand it all.

  3. ButterfliesGalore-Kimberly Grady Says:

    I love the comment about being present and fearless…..

    I am better at that one the phone than in person……..!!

    • Barbara Kass Says:

      Hi, Kim — I like the distance a telephone provides as well 🙂

      Being present is required to be fearless successfully and I think you are probably more fearless than you give yourself credit for. You have made some major decisions and stood up for who you are. That’s fearless.

  4. Sandi White Says:

    Barbara, I truly enjoyed this post, it points out to me something I have been reminding of myself over and over again lately, that no matter what struggle I happen to be engaged in at the time, it will pass. It is a learning opportunity. I can take a lesson from it and benefit myself or I can blow it off and repeat it again later….

    • Barbara Kass Says:

      Hi, Sandi — I’ve been reading Anthony de Mello’s The Way to Love. He points out that it is in our struggles that we grow. We don’t really get a lot from taking the easy road. Those struggles are just like anything else that exists — they rise and fall, come and go — they pass just like everything else. Glad you resubscribed!

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