Posts Tagged ‘living’

the presence of beliefs

January 20, 2011

The same message has come to me three times recently: the universe is living and manifested through me. I am enamored with this quote from the January 2011 Science of Mind: “there is a wholeness, perfection, love, and beauty in the universe that is seeking permission to live through and as your life.”

My intellect wants to examine this message with detached curiosity. My mind wants to convince myself that it is true. My heart would like to feel that belief in all its intensity. My presence is silent on the subject. Perhaps, at that deeper level, I already know this to be true.

And, if I choose to believe this, then it must be true for everyone, not just for me.

In yet another round of dual unveiling of self, Ben and I recently had this exchange in the presence of challenge:

Ben wrote “I notice as I move towards the thing that really calls me I run smack dab into my beliefs, boundaries, and comfort zones. That is why I really don’t believe in beliefs and yet I see I have them — some deeply hidden away. Those beliefs are the boundary I self imposed that I am not getting beyond or is creating the suffering and discomfort. I am holding onto some idea, belief, or concept about how my life is supposed to look.”

I responded: “Beliefs ARE self-imposed boundaries and someone created them — we absorbed them from the adults in our lives when we were very young and created them from our experiences. Not believing your beliefs has two facets: the first is some people don’t believe they have beliefs (they are delusional) and the second is as you say not “believing in beliefs” because they are just those thoughts/ideas we create to make a boundary for ourselves.”

That I received these messages about the universe and beliefs simultaneously made my inquisitive little investigator perk right up. What beliefs am I holding on to that hold me back? That cause me suffering? That keep me from becoming the being I truly am? Can I let go of enough belief to make room for the idea that I can be the universe manifested in wholeness, perfection, love, and beauty? Does believing make it so? Can I disband the boundary that I and the universe are separate and apart?

Like Ben, I am following the bread crumbs that I toss myself as I seek the path that lightens my heart and quickens my breath. I am seeking the magic that will unlock the words, the feelings, the living, the thoughts, the intents, and the manifestations of the universe incarnate. I find some paths are blocked with gates and locked with heavy steel barricades.

But I think the universe just handed me a key.

©2011 by Barbara L. Kass

Some days I only run downhill

July 5, 2010

Three or four days a week, I take a jog through my neighborhood. It is a winding, hilly route of about two and a half miles. The homes are red brick and vinyl siding, with a few white stucco renegades quietly at ease with their originality. At the upper end financial scale of middle class, all of the yards are trimmed with tidy gardens and close-cropped grass. Not too many cars zip through those twisting streets, plus there are lots of trees for shade, and friendly people walking their dogs – a pleasant place to live and run.

I don’t particularly care for jogging for it’s own sake. I run because my body and mind require it to stay healthy and sane. Running increases my strength and endurance, keeps my lungs in working order, helps raise that good HDL cholesterol (the one that takes LDL cholesterol back to your liver for reprocessing), and supports my tennis game. Running also helps free my mind to process . . . stuff. I don’t know what I am going to think about when I go to run. I just let whatever “stuff” that is ready to process bubble up and percolate for a while. Everything is better after I have gone for a run.

But I confess, some days I only run on the down hills and walk on the up hills. I don’t always know what days those might be. Sometimes, I think on a 92-degree day or if I feel tired and worn out, that I will be running only on the down hills, but then I find out after the first quarter mile that my body is in sync, my mind is free, and I run the entire way.

Other days, I fully intend to run all the way only to find out that, nope . . . my body and mind want the slower pace. Perhaps they need the time to take better care of themselves. I trust their wisdom and, since I am not training for the Olympics, I let them have their way.

I am beginning to look at life much the same way. Some days, I am rushing around, fighting uphill battles, pushing my body and mind to their limits (and sometimes beyond), and I have to stop and wonder: why? Exactly where am I going?

Beyond the age of fifty, life has become a marathon. Why am I in such a hurry to finish the daily race? My personal internal neighborhood is as stable and clean as the one I run through. It will keep me solidly safe should I choose to stroll through my day taking frequent breaks if I want. My mind likes to take its time wandering through the twisting avenues of my thoughts and ideas as if it wants to get to know each one intimately and become their best friend. Both my body and my mind want the down time to just do nothing. It is a real treat for them when I relax and slowly work my way through learning new knowledge, or a task or skill.

Downhill living.

©2010 by Barbara L. Kass