Posts Tagged ‘question’

The presence of resolutions

January 1, 2013

I actually found something useful on the Internet.

It was an article on Yahoo about nine daily habits that will make us happier. The article promised “immediate results” which (of course) caused my gullible alert meter to skyrocket. I’ve edited them a bit for personal use as New Year’s resolutions:

1. Start each day with expectation.

The article noted that life “lives up to (or down to) your expectations” and advises you to think “something wonderful is going to happen today” when you first get up in the morning. If you and your loved ones make it through the day alive, something wonderful has indeed happened so this one is a no-brainer. My personal edit to this one would be to look for the wonderful in my life and expect to find at least one if not many.

2. Take time to plan and prioritize.

Article advice is to “pick one thing that, if you get it done today, will move you closer to your highest goal and purpose in life. Then do that first.” My highest goal and purpose in life has nothing to do with achieving status or accumulating wealth. It is to become the best human being I can be. The real trick is to remember to be and do that in each moment even after some nutjob has just cut me off on the Washington beltway going 75 mph.

3. Give a gift to everyone you meet.

The article defines gift as a “smile, a word of thanks or encouragement, a gesture of politeness, even a friendly nod.” It also admonishes readers to “never pass beggars without leaving them something.” For those of you who claim that giving to the homeless just encourages them to remain homeless, here is my experience with that: most of the people who are homeless are not there out of choice. If they could cope with life better, they would. The awful truth is that they cannot for reasons too numerous to list here. You could not rescue them if you tried. I follow my conscience and do what helps me sleep at night.

4. Deflect partisan conversations.

The article advises to “bow out” of conversations about politics and religion but I look upon these conversations as opportunities to find out what is really going on inside the other person. I don’t have to engage in an argument, but I can bring out my inquisitive self and just keep asking questions like “why do you say that?” and “what makes you feel that way?”

5. Assume people have good intentions.

The article states an immutable truth: “Since you can’t read minds, you don’t really know the ‘why’ behind the ‘what’ that people do.” However, it implies that you should assume “good intentions” rather than “evil motives” with regards to “other people’s weird behaviors”. My feeling is that I have to use some judgment about those “weird behaviors” and get more information before I assume anything good or bad.

6. Eat high quality food slowly.

The article recommends that we “eat something really delicious, like a small chunk of fine cheese or an imported chocolate” once a day and to “focus . . . taste . . . savor it.” Why only once a day? Why is only fine cheese or imported chocolate “really delicious”? And, why only “high quality food”? Food (REAL food, people!) is more satisfying if eaten slowly and consciously.

7. Let go of your results.

The article tells us that worry is “the big enemy of happiness” and advises us to not focus on “events that are outside” of our control. Once we have done all that we can about any situation, we need to let go of the results. A good deed done does not necessarily translate into a good outcome.

8. Turn off “background” TV.

The article states that “the entire point of broadcast TV is to make you dissatisfied with your life so that you’ll buy more stuff.” I don’t know that this is true. I see plenty of things on television that make very happy that I have my life and not someone else’s life. That being said, I agree with turning off the noise for a little while each day. Embracing solitude and silence helps reduce stress.

9. End each day with gratitude.

The article recommends each day writing down at least one wonderful thing that happened such as “making a child laugh.” I can’t argue with keeping a gratitude journal but I encourage you to find at least three things each day to be grateful for. Make it your assignment each morning knowing that you can’t duplicate items from day to day.

And here is my personal habit that I am adding: live your life as a question. Quit seeking the answers and instead, live into the question you are asking. For more about that, see my article at Loyola’s Meaning Making blog.

Finally, this is my year of Living the Prayer. Praying has always seemed to me to be a very passive sort of activity, so I generally pulled it out only when I had no other choice (the prayer was usually preceded by terminology similar to “oh, crap!”). Something in my realization of what “eternal presence” signifies has caused me to sit up and take notice that while there are always beginnings and endings, there are also continuings (<=== is this a real word?).

Welcome to my continuings.

©2013 by Barbara L. Kass

A new presence question

November 28, 2010

How will I bring my presence to life today?

I’ve been asking myself this question every day for two years.

Most days, I completely forget to even BE present, much less be my presence. In the evenings, I flip open my laptop and see those words staring back at me.

I ask myself: How did I bring my presence to life today?

Generally, the answer is something along the lines of “badly,” “sorta,” and “what presence?”

I’ve experimented with methods to remind myself to be more present, to be my presence. Some of them actually worked. Now, when I am with another person, I am reminded to be as completely present with that person as possible. When I am alone, I can be perfectly present with the task at hand.

So I can be more PRESENT in my life, but still do not feel I am bringing my true PRESENCE to life. Who am I underneath these 50-odd years of human history and conditioning? Who is this presence who came to learn the lessons of this lifetime?

I took my question to a shamanic workshop given by Robin Rice . In one day I travelled through “Five Layers and Levels Of Shamanic Dreaming.” I never knew sitting down and closing my eyes could be so much work.

I took my question into journeys. Interrogating my normal process for dealing with this question made me dizzy. I asked Mother Earth if I had her blessing to work on this question (there might have been an earthquake she was laughing so hard). When I visited the Star People high in the universe to get a broader perspective of my question, I clearly saw my lack of focus and heard the message that focus is my task. I visited my ancestors who told me I had chosen this life to deal with my presence and everything I need is within me – that I already am my true presence and I just have to get out of my own way.

This might sound useful, but it only brought up more questions: How am I in my own way? Is there any part that is not in my way? How can I get out of my own way?

I travelled to the mythic realms and learned to lay down my sword at the feet of a dragon in hot pursuit of my mortal life. Believe it or not, that clear metaphor escaped me.

More journeys resulted in fingers pointing directly back at me. Near the end of the workshop, I feel I am still no closer to the answer of my question of how to bring my presence to life.

Our group formed partnerships where we each had to find another person with the same question. My partner was this amazing young woman whose open honesty and revealing vulnerability was a safe haven for my own perplexed being. Her question was: How could she joyfully embrace who she is now?

We had the same question. Her question is my answer. Her question is my “how.”

As my ancestors instructed me, I already am my true presence. It is who I am now. I just need to quit struggling with myself (lay down my sword) in being my true presence. How can I do that and get out of my own way? By joyfully embracing and nurturing my presence each day.

To joyfully embrace my presence means to know that I am eternal, trust my wisdom, and accept that I am okay no matter what is going on around me. To nurture my presence is to engage in life in a way that feeds my soul, my spirit, whatever name I might give to the living presence inside this body.

Viktor Frankl is a teacher of mine. In his book Man’s Search for Meaning, he found a way to embrace and nurture himself while enduring the atrocities of Auschwitz and other Nazi prison camps. His survival depended upon it. One of the lessons that I learned is that I need to embrace and nurture my presence in each moment regardless of my circumstances or the circumstances of others.

I get it.

©2010 by Barbara L. Kass