The disappearing outcome

Sometimes, I get a little too attached to the Land of Supposed To Be.

Okay, not just sometimes . . . a lot of the time.

Through the stories I tell myself about what reality is supposed to look like, I create a story about outcomes – how life is supposed to be. And I really cannot be blamed for having this attachment. After all, I was programmed from birth to have expectations. It doesn’t help that nature does what it is supposed to do: water does what water is supposed to do, animal behavior is fairly predictable, trees and grass and flowers all respect their cycles of growth and dormancy. There is a certain stability and logic to our environment that allows humans to depend on specific outcomes.

Nature also limits the predictability of human life. I can depend on certain outcomes in my life given the conditions of any environment. It suddenly makes sense to me why some people abandon civilization and go off to live alone in a backwoods cabin. Life becomes a more known quantity when I have removed variables I cannot control or predict (i.e., other people).

Lately, though, I have been letting go of the need to have a specific outcome to anything. I have become more conscious and aware of taking care of the moments in my life and my internal work has been to trust my intent to bring my presence to life. I cannot predict or control the outcome of being truly present and alive. I only know that I must honor that this path called to me and I chose to follow it. I don’t want to know how it ends or to try to imagine where it might take me.

©2010 by Barbara L. Kass

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4 Responses to “The disappearing outcome”

  1. holessence Says:

    “I don’t want to know how it ends or to try to imagine where it might take me.”

    Barbara, like you, I think it makes the read so much more enjoyable when we don’t know the outcome.

    This following quote is from the children’s book, “There Is a Flower at the Tip of My Nose Smelling Me” and I think it’s appropriate for your blog post today:

    “There is a pen nestled in my hand writing me. There is a story at the end of my arms telling me.” ~ Alice Walker

    Laurie Buchanan

    • Barbara Kass Says:

      Hi, Laurie — I have read a few of Alice Walker’s books; she is an interesting writer. I do have that feeling, though, so you are right. It is definitely different to allow life to flow the way it will without my needing to interfere.

  2. Snoopykg1 Says:

    Being present has been a blessing and a challenge for me this last week. It has been also a blessing that bogging is reminding me of these crucial things that should be in my life. I can honestly say I have had a large amount of fun in doing this, seeing snippets of joy, laughter, playfulnees, and also tears/pain, however not so bad now, as making sure the fun is there too. My expectations of myself and others does get in the way of being present.
    It is also a blessing to have a new little dog at my feet snoring so soundly like a baby…..

    • Barbara Kass Says:

      Hi, Kim – yes, that furry little creature is adorable and what a sweet friend. Whoever lost him lost a lot. It is neat that you both found each other — as if you were both searching. Enjoy.

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