Presence and personal value

A long time ago in a place called, we were asked what pushes us to ignore our personal values. I responded that it depends which value is at stake at the time; I will trade every single value I hold dear for the life of my granddaughter for she is who I value most in life; other values become negotiable for my own survival; others less so for the price of my employment and having a home — but these are all in the extreme. We all like to say “nothing” will cause me to ignore my personal values, but when we examine our lives closely, there are trade-offs daily even though we don’t like to admit them. I admit mine mindfully, trade them carefully, minimize their impact on myself and others, and realize I am living in the real imperfect world.

My eternal presence does not wrestle with the rightness or wrongness of any of my decisions. Because of my granddaughter, I know that my life really is not mine to trade lightly or selfishly. When that little person came into the world, in that moment, she became the reason I was born. I do not know for how long my life is hers. It may be until she reaches adulthood. It may be beyond. Until I know, everything about me is to take good care of myself, negotiate life’s trials with caution with the fundamental knowledge that I need to be wholly alive.

Does her ownership of my mortality make me do less for myself? Actually, no. Instead, I strive for more because I know she is watching me. She makes me even more determined to be fully alive, to bring the presence in me that lives eternally to this temporary world.

©2010 by Barbara L. Kass

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8 Responses to “Presence and personal value”

  1. holessence Says:

    Barbara – Knowing that January is watching you as her inspiration and as her model, I especially appreciate your words,

    “…I need to be wholly alive.”

  2. sandiwhite Says:

    January is a star in the Firmament, as are you. I’m so glad she has you as a guide and teacher for the world she grows up in will be so very different than the one we knew as children. In the apparently disposable and transitory world of today, when everything seems to happen with laser suddenness, a solid rock foundation of values and priorities will be essential for her being able to stand with both feet firmly on the ground. I am glad that you will be an Eternal Presence in her life.

    • Barbara Kass Says:

      Hi, Sandi — I know . . . life seems to be speeding up and she is as quick as can be. She already knows how to add fractions! I think I will be the one who helps her learn that she can slow down and savor life instead of having to race through it all the time.

      • Snoopykg1 Says:

        I sometimes think I need to be taught more to slow down and savor life instead of racing through it….
        I think you, Laurie, Sandi, Terrill, jeff have been a very good restart in that aspect. The creativity is flowing all over…


  3. Snoopykg1 Says:

    On this, today, my daughter Amanda’s 20th birthday, I am especially humbled that she has been always looking to me as you explain January looks to you as a rock, guide and teacher. At this time I actually have to let go and let Amanda fly like a butterfly,

    Wonderful Post

    • Barbara Kass Says:

      Hi, Kim — I saw your beautiful daughter’s picture. Isn’t it wonderful? And you know when she flies away, you have done the best job ever.

      • Snoopykg1 Says:

        Yes now she is in her Twenties!

        It started tonight…she is broading over her present boyfriend who is rally nice and seems that he and her are themselves when they are together….Then there’s the old high school boyfriend whom she dated for 3 or more years who is extremely quiet and thing we as parents do not like him. He is very possessive, depressed if Amanda is not around, and quite frankly very narrow minded….The battling begins….

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