I’ve been gone from my blog for a very long time which translates to “I’ve decided to spend my presence elsewhere.” I miss these excursions – this little walk down the pathways of me and my life . . . the occasional venture into the lives of others. My blogs are short. One might think that it takes little time or effort to come up with 500 words, and they would be right. I can throw a thousand words on a page in no time, but what matters to me is reproducing my journeys and discoveries in a way that unfolds me while taking the reader to their own journeys and discoveries.
Blogging requires planning, cooking, chewing, and digestion time. There is the thinking of the thing to write. Then, there is the drafting of the thing to write, followed by the finalizing of the thing to write. And, there is the delivery of the thing to write. I am my own worst enemy as I am in constant search of the right ingredients, and then the right combination and measure of those ingredients along with the correct temperature and time to bake my blogs. It might take me a week or so to examine and revise whatever current recipe is making my life.
Writing gifts me in the form of a present presence. I cannot be anywhere but here while writing. I cannot pay attention to anyone or anything else while writing. It is the perfect present.
The problem is that I have arranged my life so that there is always something else to pay attention to besides the present moment. People and tasks crowd around me each demanding their due. All the while I am writing, these various voices in my head command me to be here . . . or to be there . . . or to get ready for this . . . or to go take care of that. The next thing to do constantly calls to me. It follows me around like a dark billowing cloud who rumbles “Fix me! Take care of me! Resolve me!” My writer’s block always comes in the form of paying attention to anything but writing.
I have a thousand things to write! I know what I want to be when I grow up! I love what I write when I write it! My discovery of selfish truths and hidden agendas nearly always comes through words, either spoken or written. My truth lies in words and I have sought them out ever since I discovered their existence. My creativity is literally fermenting inside the spaces I opened up long ago. I have no fewer than 42 rough drafts. The words are yelling “Hey! Give us some air already!”
The art of being with my words is in need of tending in my life. The time slots on my calendar appointments are triple-stacked. If I want clean laundry and groceries, I have to put them on the schedule. All of the spaces in my life are filled largely by choice. I’ve made these decisions and chosen these activities because they are meaningful and supportive to me in some way.
Creativity requires that I conjure up an open empty space where I can visit with my life, select the cake I want to bake, find the words and add them in the right combination, mix and revise, taste-test the batter, and then nibble at the crumbs.
©2012 by Barbara L. Kass
Eternal Presence 